I can see your blind spots

Photo of Storm and I working together. Photo by Kayleigh of Raw Photography

Our pets have a way of revealing our blind spots, if only we’re willing to look. It often comes with a dose of humble pie, which can be very uncomfortable, but worth the look.

Let me tell you a story.

A dear friend of mine asked to spend some time with me and the horses to learn more about them. So we spent several mornings together hanging out and grooming and I spent time explaining all things horse and connection. She did not have any experience with horses, and just wanted to learn whatever she could.

As part of her introduction, I decided to teach her about leading a horse. The phrase “you can can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink” is probably as old as the hills, and is very true. And sometimes you can’t even lead a horse anywhere.

I gave her the task of leading my horse, Storm, across the pasture, and gave her a few pointers on how to ask him to move to get to the destination we chose. She began to walk, and he continued grazing right where he was. She tried a few things, and when she finally got him to move, he neatly walked in front of her, placing his body directly across their path, and then went back to munching grass. She began to laugh, somewhat out of frustration, and admitted to me that her sons don’t listen to her either.

This horse, while much larger than her sons, was giving her the same feedback that she was getting in her daily life. That’s the beauty of being around our pets and animals. They will give us swift and clear feedback in the areas of our life that are often our blind spots. With other people it is so easy to write off the interactions as something being wrong with the other person. We can do that with our pets, too, but that only continues our denial if we choose to do so.

Storm clearly knows how to walk with a person, and he responds lightly when you get the cues right and are aligned from the inside. His behavior was clearly showing her that she did not believe she could move him, and did not have the confidence to ask clearly in a direct manner.

All of our pets demonstrate this kind of awareness. This is why the trainer can get your pet to do things that you struggle with. It’s not personal, they will do this with any person that isn’t clear and aligned in their request. The jumping dog, the anxious behavior, the “rude” interactions - all of these things can be shifted by shifting our own internal state. It’s simply feedback from our pets about what is going on internally for us.

So before you just write off your “rude” pet, take a moment be humble and examine what you might be able to shift internally to get a different outcome. You might be amazed at the results.

Caveat - this is a both/and situation. Our pet’s behavior is their own, and we influence their behavior constantly by simply being in connection with them. If you are struggling with behavior, seek support from a trainer that is willing to work with both you and your pet to work through your challenges.