Sacred Touch
Storm and I sharing a moment
When we become intimately familiar with another being, we often assume we have permission to do things that we would (hopefully) otherwise not do with a stranger.
That assumption may be right, or wrong.
Our pets live in a world where the only option they have for communication with us is body signals and a limited array of sounds (that some employ more liberally than others). They live with beings who are constantly making noises, and whose energy is often not nearly as regulated as we’d like to think.
And they live in a world where they have virtually no control or autonomy over their spaces, their meals, or their companions.
When you stop and think about it, life as a pet may not be nearly as rosy as we like to believe it is.
That’s not for trying, of course. If you’re reading this, I know you care deeply about your pet, and only want the best for them, and I’m sure you’re willing to go to great lengths to do so.
Our pets are incredibly adaptable, and tolerate SO much of our human designed world. If we were kept like pets, we would go crazy! It’s not a bad thing, but it is worth remembering.
Which is why I am always looking for the smallest of ways I can show respect and honor to my pets and animals simply because they have to fit themselves into my human world.
One of the simplest ways is asking for permission before touching them, even to give them loving pets or scritches, or all the good belly rubs that they do love. I can only imagine what it must be like to not be able to clearly say “hey, please don’t do that like that to me.”
You never know what kind of mood your pet is in, and just because they liked belly rubs yesterday doesn’t mean they want them today. Giving them the autonomy of choice in the matter helps to foster mutual respect between the two of you, and it builds trust - which is very important because there may be a time when you need to touch your pet for their own safety.
So what does asking permission to touch your pet look like? It can be a little different for every pet, but generally, offering your hand for them to sniff first is a great way to initiate connection and allow your pet to decide if they want more or not. Most animals have a process of sniffing each other as a greeting, so offering your hand close enough that they can then reach towards you to sniff you is a kind way to offer a greeting.
Some pets might not take it, and that’s fine. That’s your cue that they aren’t interested in contact right at this moment. It says nothing about you as a pet owner or how much they love you if they don’t want to be touched in this moment. I don’t want hugs all the time every day from every person I love, either. We get tripped up when we assume our pets want that level of contact from us at any given moment.
I’m curious what would happen if you started to ask your pet if they want contact from you. How might it change your relationship together? How might it encourage your pet to want to be touched by you? Drop a comment and let me know if you experiment with this!
